Why am I humming wedding songs outloud?

After having a baby I have realized a lot about myself that I didn't know existed.

Yeah I've been engaged before to a guy (one that I'd rather not talk about because he seriously just instant messaged me like a minute ago... it never ends with him) but I never was "excited" about the process of engagement and marriage. I thought I was just one of those people that wanted to go against the grain. I'd tell people things like, "Jewelry and engagement rings are for SCHMUCKS!" or "I don't want a 'fairytale' wedding because they're too extravagant and ridiculous". ALL. OF. THIS. HAS. NOW. CHANGED. I am also bawling over things I never cried over before. If I know Oprah is having one of her "serious" shows (she only has two types of shows: ones that make you hysterically cry or ones that make you want to go hug a puppy) I know to grab a box of tissues because my eyeballs will be exploding with tears. What the FUCK? WHY AM I DOING THIS???

Before I met Chad or got pregnant I thought I wanted to be one of those traveling journalists that never got into a serious relationship or had anything to do with kids. I had never even THOUGHT about children. Hell, I had never even HUNG OUT with children! Now I cringe at the thought of being a journalist in general. (Maybe because most of the media S-U-C-K-S!) And I can't imagine my life without my daughter... is she seriously only three months old? Wowzers.

Because of all of these changes I have been dropping about five to ten hints a week at Chad about an engagement ring, what kind of wedding dress I want, or even where I want to get married! Maybe I am making more estrogen? I seriously don't know what's happening but NOW I WANT TO BUY JEWELRY EVERY DAY. And shoes... and clothes... wait... I did all of that before. (HAH!) Maybe some things don't change. But I do want to get engaged. ::cough:: ::cough::